What happened to all of the tomboys?

I grew up the in 1970s.  It was after the “Women’s Rights Movement” and the “Civil Rights Movement”.  So although most career choices were open to women, there were still some fields and activities that were considered “boy activities” and other activities that were considered “girl activities”.  And some were neutral, like playing online casino games from sites like PlayCroco Casino.

On May 23, 2022, I saw an article from published on Fox News, “Seven books that show NYC is pushing transgenderism, LGBTQ+ curriculum to kids as young as kindergarten”.

I’m Not a Girl: A Transgender Story – First-Grade Recommendation

I don’t get this story.  The story’s main character is a person who was born with a vagina, but longs to be a boy.

Besides the biological aspect of “boys grow into men and provide the sperm to produce a child”, what exactly can a 1st grade boy do that a 1st grade girl cannot do?

From the picture on the front cover:  Can a 1st grade boy have short hair?  Yes. Can a 1st grade girl have short hair?  Yes.  Can a 1st grade boy have long hair? Yes.  Can a 1st grade girl have long hair?  Yes.

“At one point in the book, the child is asked to put on her jacket (which is pink) while she is outside in snowy weather. The child declares, ‘I’d rather be cold and wet than not be me.'”

This is another item that makes no sense to me.  What parent goes shopping for a coat for a 1st grader and does not get the opinion of the child before buying the coat?  The only exception may be a family that is so poor that they have to deal with donated coats, but even coats from the Salvation Army consignment stores have selections of coats of all different colors.  In 1st grade, a child’s chest area of a boy and the chest area of a girl are not much different, so buying a boy coat for a girl or buying a girl coat for a boy is irrelevant.

From the book: “His parents don’t understand why he won’t wear the cute outfits they pick out”  The key phrase is “they pick out”.  This has nothing to do with a girl wanting to be a boy, but simply two parents who refuse to listen to their child.  Except for maybe going to a wedding, it is not difficult to find outfits that a child will wear and are socially acceptable (aka, no torn jeans to school).

The example of the Halloween costume is the same.  The child wants to wear a traditional pirate costume that the child picks out, and the mother then buys a “princess pirate costume”.  Again, it is just the parents not listening to the child, and treating the child as a doll instead of an independent child.

My opinion: The whole entire story is about two parents who do not listen to their child.  It makes you ask the question of if the parents had actually listened to their child on what the child wanted to wear, what would have happened?

When Aidan Became a Brother – Second-Grade Recommendation

“When Aiden was born, everyone thought he was a girl. His parents gave him a pretty name … But as Aidan got bigger, he hated the sound of his name … He was really another kind of boy.”  But Aiden is not a teenager during this story.  He is around 5 years old.

Aiden:  “I don’t like my name.”  So pick a new name.  Who cares?  Many people have two or three names.  Many Jewish families provide their children with “secular names” and “Jewish names” and then on top of that, some even have “nicknames”.  My secular name is Melissa.  My nickname as a child was Missy, which I hated.  My Hebrew name is Metukah, which I also do not like.  I have 3 names that are “my name”.  Two of them I do not like, and one of them I do like.  So as an adult, I use the one that I do like.

So fine, give you child two names.  Most kids have both a  first name and a middle name.  So when you are naming your child, pick one of the names to be “boyish” or “girlish” and then have the other one be gender neutral.  Or you could even pick a “boyish” one for the first name and a “girlish name” for the middle name.  You get the idea.  It is a name.  Many people change their names during their lives for one reason or another that has nothing to do with what gender a person is.

My opinion on these types of books …

A lot of the “reasons” why these books are saying a girl wants to be a boy or a boy wants to be a girl were considered normal childhood behaviors when I was growing up in the 1970s.

Who cares how long or how short a child wants to wear their hair?  Who cares what color coat a child wants to wear?  Who cares if a child has multiple names (boyish name, girlish name, gender neutral name)?  Who cares if a child wants to change their name?  Do they really want to be a different gender or is it something else?

Speaking for myself, when I was in 3rd grade, I went to my desk and saw for the first time my name “Melissa” written on my desk.  From that day forward, in my mind, I was no longer “Missy” (my parent’s nickname for me) and I was “Melissa”.  I was a tomboy, and I did not see myself as a “Missy”.

Do I think that children of 6 or 7 years of age are independent thinkers and have their own opinions on what name they like or what clothes they want to wear?  Of course.  But I really have my doubts that a child of 6 or 7 years of age truly knows that the child permanently wants to be a boy or permanently wants to be a girl.

Would I believe that they are going through a phase where they are trying to get to know who they are, as a separate person, from their parents?  Definitely.  Most kids go through this at some point in their lives.

In some ways, every child needs to go through this phase in order to transition from being a child to being an adult.  It is a natural part of growing up.  But what kind of adult a child of 6 or 7 will become?  Nobody knows.  Not even the child.

Humorous story — My friend’s reply to the question “Are you having a boy or a girl?”

I heard a co-worker would say.  Whenever everybody would ask him, “Is your wife having a boy or a girl?”  He would reply, ‘Yes, my wife is having a boy or a girl.”


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