How To Reconcile With Your Family This Thanksgiving | Opinion
many ancient peoples A strong code of hospitality.
Long before automobiles and airplanes, people traveled miles on foot and needed respite from the harsh climate and safe havens. It was a culturally normative practice to welcome even those who were considered political enemies into their homes for a warm meal and sleep.
In fact, in Homer’s “Iliad,” two soldiers from opposing sides, Diomedes and Glaucus, meet on the battlefield and exchange armor instead of fighting.
Modern conveniences seem to have quickly made such notions of hospitality obsolete. After all, in the last decade we have become more divided than ever, and at times this seems impossible to overcome.
But the decision to exclude our family and friends from holiday celebrations is not the point. It will likely lead to lasting regret.according to new york timesat least 27% of Americans are estranged from their families, and at least 40% have experienced estrangement at some point.
But we are not going to separate each other. we are supposed to come together The holiday season is a special time to put each other above artificial divisions, even though sometimes the artificial divisions seem more important than our relationships.
Even if it’s hard, you should probably talk to your family especially this Thanksgiving.
There are some exceptional circumstances, such as abuse, that make this impossible and inconsiderate. But if the rift is caused by a collective tendency to favor closedness over diversity, it would be wise to reconsider our stance.
Families often share a variety of common characteristics, but may deviate from them in religious, political, ideological, geographic, cultural, and various other differences that push them off the table. It is easier to talk to people who already agree than it is to develop friendships that truly bridge divides.
But Daniel Pink, who studies regretfound that moral regrets like these are “the most painful and the longest lasting.”
Just recently, I was looking out my window at the Salt Lake City skyline. The building shone like a star in the night sky. In this moment of silence and calm, a thought interrupted me—I will never have Thanksgiving dinner with my beloved and now deceased family again.
I found myself desperately wanting another family dinner, feeling heartbroken because I knew it wasn’t going to happen.
Death is a tragic revelation. I don’t think anyone wants to watch their loved ones die and argue with them more. Instead, we want to spend more time enjoying each other’s company, and hope that sooner or later we’ll realize that what we really care about is each other and not an artificial breakup.
I don’t think I’ll ever regret skipping the best tax policy discussion (and my interest in tax policy is probably higher than most people’s). Get to know them, hear about their lives, and cherish the short time you spend with them.
This Thanksgiving may be the time to take relationships more seriously than ever before. That might mean pausing the conversation about politics for one meal. poll last year Most Americans don’t want to talk politics while eating turkey or stuffing. Politics should have a healthy sense of urgency — there are many real and serious problems that need to be solved. However, another serious issue also needs to be resolved. It’s the lack of interconnectedness.
You may have shut your loved ones out too quickly, or you may have realized that you need to forgive your loved ones in your life before you have the opportunity to express forgiveness. Our instincts and introspection can tell us where our intimate relationships are falling short and how to fix them before it’s too late.
It can be difficult to call someone with whom you have a strong disagreement or who is estranged for another reason. The easier path is to ignore the urge to reconcile and create a bigger table, but the more rewarding path is to do just that.
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https://www.deseret.com/2022/11/23/23465485/thanksgiving-families-estranged How To Reconcile With Your Family This Thanksgiving | Opinion